Monday, August 16, 2010

I pretty much wake up every morning thinking on the Lord. Isn’t that wonderful? And I fall asleep every night hoping I will dream on him, but to date, I cannot remember my dreams. But I will, hallelujah, in His time. And I probably am dreaming of Him, somewhere deep in the land of REM, but like many things, just because I am not cognitive of my dreams does not mean that they do not exist. And so I choose to believe that Jesus-sleep time is going on. Because I ask that of Him, and it is a very excellent thing to ask for and cannot possibly be outside of God’s will to want more of Him. And so I dream of Him. But do not know it. But that doesn’t negate anything.

A few days ago I went to a church retreat. It was called “Fervent in the Spirit” and I learned a lot and experienced more of the Lord. I went in wanting and asking the Lord to burn things out in me; that sounds kind of violent and to be honest, I wanted something violent. When it comes to me and the Lord and my life in him, I am not interested in comfort. I am interested in being processed, being refined and knowingly praying difficult prayers like, “refine me. Discipline me Lord, where I need discipline. Break me Lord, and then put me back together, more like You.” Those kinds of risky prayers.

The fire of God is a literal manifestation down here. Three summers ago, I watched my Guatemalan brothers and sisters jump around flapping their arms, shaking something off of them and I stood there observing them as they clearly looked at something on the ground in front of them, something that I could not see. Fire on the ground. Supernatural fire that I couldn’t see, but they could, supernatural fire that was hot to their skin. But not to mine. (I would, at this point, re-direct you to read the account in 2 Kings 6: 15-17 of how the Lord opened the spiritual eyes of the servant. Hmmmm, yes, our senses are also under the sovereignty of the Lord and there is much going on that we do not pick up on in the natural.)

I wanted the Lord to burn unbelief out of me. It has been bothering me for a while now. And by a while I mean several months. It is an interesting thing, because I have seen the miracles of the Lord and experienced supernatural things and on one hand I have tremendous faith and I know the Lord is growing that in me. On the other hand, there is this unholy unbelief. I do not know if that is from within me, is a result of my culture or if it is a dart from the enemy that has taken root. Either way, I wanted it burned out.

Although I did not ignite like my brothers and sisters, something else did occur, a very strange manifestation that has happened twice before. And after yesterday, the count is up to four. It might be a “Canadian” fire as my good friend and hermana en Cristo, Julianna, received something similar. I look forward to learning more about it. I have had this discussion with a few on my team already, that the reality within my life is that I will often experience something first and then the teaching follows. I rather prefer this teaching style and it is a safe one to follow when you are learning under the safe teacher of the Holy Spirit.

Wrapping up schedule this week as we’re attending a spiritual retreat with our students Wednesday/Thursday/Friday. Thanks for your prayers for that.

Kat.

p.s. who wouldn’t want to face-lift their blog for the 17th time when there is a flying-bird backdrop available? And when one has a photo of a cloud forest? I like, I like.